....I'd have made a lovely hat out of ya this morning!
So it was a night like any other, I was the creamy middle of the Bustin - dino - Ace Kitty sandwich. Ace is wise beyond his years and every night uses ME as his human barrier shield between himself and the forever flailing and blankie stealer that is a sleeping Bustin.
Since the preggers me is an even more frequent participant of "Insomniac Theater" then usual, I was just fading into sleep at 3ish am when Ace got startled by something, came up swinging, and managed to scratch my eye with his front claw (aka those sharp ass meat hooks o his) before he snuggled back in my arms to fall back asleep. Now *I* was startled, wide awake and trying to figure out what had happened. I woke up Bustin before I slipped on a robe to go grab a frozen bag o corn to put on my eye. He stumbled out in his robe to tell me that my eye was full o blood and we needed to go to the ER. I suggested we could just flush it out and wait to see if it was all THAT bad. Bustin informed me that injured eyeballs earned you a first class ticket to the ER and that was that.
Now I've been to the ER many many times, both working & with family. So I got dressed and started "preparing" for our journey into the ER. I got cold pizza outta the fridge for later. I made a drink and grabbed a couple DrPeppers for Bustin. I grabbed a phone charger and was contemplating on if I should wake up Paulie to tell him to feed & take the dogs out before he left for work when Bustin came in and asked me exactly what it was I was doing. I explained to him that when you go to the ER you could be there days n days, sometimes forEVER! and you had to have a plan and bring provisions. He told me to get in the car and quite being ridiculous, the Bastrop ER is NOT an ER in California.
We drove the 15 mins to it takes to "get to town" and entered the practically empty parking lot. The ER was completely empty and quite fancy in that "we're a brand new fancy hospital" sort of way. I walked up to the window with my rag covered bag o frozen corn pressed against my eyeball and she asked for my name and social security number but never even asked what was up with the frozen vegetables. A few moments later, we were in an admitting room with a male nurse taking my vitals and asking me a fraction o the questions we asked at the ER I worked at in LA. He barely looked up from his forms as I said my bloody eyeball was a startled sleeping cat injury. He said it was best we came in because o me being preggers and just in case an infection started because of cat scratch fever. I asked him if he'd please sing me just the chorus o the Nugent's finest song.....again he didn't look up and declined. Bustin was just staring at me and shaking his head.
They put us in a little room with a gurney, 1 chair, a trash and a sharps container on the wall. We could hear them in the hall talking...."her OWN cat scratched her EYE???" & "no grab me the ENTIRE eye care kit". The cute-ish young ER Doc wheeled in a small table full o all kinds o junk. He put a bunch o orange dye in my eye and busted out the UV magnifying glass to check out my eyeball. Apparently Ace had managed to slice up the inside corner (top & bottom) of my eye lid and thankfully missed the eyeball itself. The Doc washed out my eye and had me squint at some letters on an eye chart on the back of a door. He then gave me a prescription for antibiotics in case my eye lid got all infected and we were home long before Paulie got in the shower for work.
The best part was the Doc telling us that HE was going to have a chat with his own kitty about sleeping behavior and exactly where she was allowed to sleep from now on.
Pets teach you about patience, forgiveness and unconditional love right, right? Or should I make that lovely fur hat outta Ace's hide? Nah, I'll keep my sweetie heart fat cat! I only wish I'd got a cool eye patch outta my ordeal......THAT woulda made it worth this pain & suffering!
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