The Tooth Fairy Giveth and the Tooth Fairy Taketh Away.....

This week Babysaurus Rex is 11 inches, almost a pound and is starting to look like a for reals baby....well more like a wrinkly old person.   Rex is also growing tooth buds inside it's gums, which I find ironic since I'm probably losing one o mine here real real soon.  I've got a tooth so wiggly, I feel just like a 6 yr old in pigtails and scuffed up knees.  I'll be really surprised if I make it through this pregnancy with all the teeth in my mouth.  Still maybe the tooth fairy will bring me something good, that is if she can find the tooth under the half dozen or so pillows I've got making my nest these days.  Oddly enough Ace really likes to snuggle into the crook o the "pregnancy pillow"....weird cat!  I'm really curious to see how he's going to react to the baby once it's finally here.

"Whooah, We're Half Way There......

Ahhhhh livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it - I swear
Whooah livin'on a prayer.....livin' on a prayer!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDK9QqIzhwk
I hope you were all singing along here with me and Jon BonJovi!

So we've hit the half way mark in this whole pregnancy game!
Trust me, we did a half time show here in Texas!
Bustin put on a costume and did a dance even.  hahaha

I actually LOOK pregnant now.  Not quite a "strangers coming up to me asking how far along I am" kinda pregnant yet but defiantly a "second glance but don't dare ask cause what if I'm wrong" kinda pregnant.  I've certainly got the beginnings of a pregger lady waddle that's for sure.

Ace Kitty has certainly noticed that his own fat cat largeness doesn't fit between the ginormity that are my boobs and the roundness that is my ever growing belly.  He gets a bit grouchy and kneads my belly thinkin he's somehow going to possiblly make it more comfy for himself.  I just have to laugh.

Oh and cause I know you're asking....STILL no movement yet!  I was really really really hoping that BabySaurusRex would have made some Rockette high kicks while we were home for the holidays but nada, zip, zilch!  I would have even settled for some stealth ninja "hi-yah" karate chops but no luck.  Any day now is what the midwife says.

Speaking o my midwife, I had an appointment a few days ago and even SHE thought I was huge!  Apparently I gained a LOT o weight in the last month, sooooo much poundage that she didn't believe me when I told her the scale reading.  She even made me take off my boots and looked over my shoulder.  What can I say?? ...the holidays were really really good to me.  I ate a lot o yummy delicious scrumdilyumptious food & treats.  YAY for me!!!!

Here's me & my siblings for Christmas at our parentals house.

Sounds heard frequently from our bedroom these days......

Me:  None of my clothes fit!  I'm FAT!

Bustin:  You're not fat, you're pregnant!

Me:  I can't even get my fat jeans buttoned!

Bustin:  You're not fat, you're pregnant!

Me:  The only shirts that don't look obscene are my Shoreline "local crew" men's XL ones.

Bustin:  You're not fat, you're pregnant!

Me:  Even YOUR clothes aren't fitting anymore!

Bustin:  You're not fat, you're pregnant!

Me:  I'll just go to the store naked!  Do you think anyone would notice?

Bustin:  Wait what?  No Kat, you can not go to the store naked!  In your bathrobe with your slippers and  curlers yes, but NOT naked!

Me:  I don't own any curlers......NOW what am I suppose to wear?

Bustin:  (hangs head down and shakes in defeat........it's going to be a long 5 more months!)

Making friends everywhere I go.....

As per a local burner mom's suggestion I signed up to read a very active Yahoo group called Austin Mama's.  Most days it sends me in a panic about all the things that can very wrong with babies/children.  Some days it's very informative.  Other days it's just a good laugh about the absurdity of having a child. The boys (Bustin & my cousin Paulie who lives with us) just laugh at all my "Did you know that......?" proclamations I make while on my laptop in the living room.
I haven't posted much since I don't have the answers yet to "How do you actually KNOW if there's something up his nose?" or "I think my unborn baby actually cracked my ribs with all the kicking?".  Still I am trying to follow the list and I frequently bookmark the stuff about breast feeding and junk like that since that WILL be my show much sooner then later.  Still I HAVE posted a few answers to crafting/costuming questions that ANY proper Mormon/Drag Queen would know.
So the Mama's get together frequently with and without children in tow for what they call a "GMOOTH" or "Get Mama Out Of The House".    Bustin sent me off to go meet some o these ladies the other night for their yearly holiday cupcake run.  There were 50+ women, all sugared out, having a grand time.  When I'd introduce myself they'd say......"Oh right, you're THAT mama!"  
p.s.  a Mama replied and didn't know what BFF was  
p.s.s.  AP also stands for Attachment Parenting which is the popular dogma & catma to subscribe to these days for parenting your child  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting


Here's my post I made last week:
In need of a decoder ring please......
All groups have their own acronyms. This I know and understand. Well THIS group has pregnancy ones and baby ones and kids ones and mom ones and made up-list ones and Austin ones and and and.....my superpowers are great and wide but figuring out what y'all are talking about most days apparently is not one of them.

Google and Yelp have been my BFFs (see THERE's one I know) since I moved to Austin but have been quite fickle when it comes to you ladies. Maybe you mama's are just SOOOOOO underground that you can't BE tracked? Is there already a list compiled or maybe a better site to be looking up what you're saying then www.acronymfinder.com

Oh and when I get really frustrated I go to urbandictionary.com for a good laugh. Here's what they said SAHM stood for.....Depending on the context, an acronym for either "Stay-At-Home-Mom" or "Shit-Ass-Ho-Motherfucker"! Now THAT made me giggle!

Thanks in advance for a point in a non-clueless direction or any advice given!
As you weird,
~kathasaurus who is going to continue to read this list (even if she doesn't know what you're saying) and keep showin up to your events and infiltrate this Austin subculture even if it kills her! SO THERE! (insert tongue sticking out here!)

p.s. AMY N: I will be showing up to your house at the correct time on Tuesday and getting in someone's van and eatin me some damn cupcakes! (which I did preorder with Terry) =]

p.s.s. I STILL haven't figured out what AP stands for! acronymfinder.com had 245 suggestions none o which sounded appropriate for the 2 posts that used AP yesterday.  I did although, like the suggestion o "Armenian Power" which is a gang in LA!

p.s.s.s. Just in case you're STILL reading this urbandictionary.com says this about AP (advanced placement) which pretty much summed up my high school experience.....a class in which students start off the year with high hopes and it eventually turns into a class full of crying over acheivers with damaged GPAs and emotional scars.
"Mark decided to take AP history but was sent to his school therapist after he realized his GPA dropped a full point."

My mum is bigger than yours!

XTC and our usual suspects put on a "Freak Homecoming Dance" a few weeks ago.  We had a theme and decorations and a DJ and everything!  Here in TX, Homecoming is all about the girl's corsage.  It's called a "mum" and although I'm sure it started out years ago as a real flower corsage, NOW a days they are SO stinkin big and have SO many trickets & do-dads attached that you wear it around your neck with an actual lanyard neck badge thingy.  I wouldn't have believed it but I saw it for myself at Jagger's senior year Homecoming football game we went to a few years back.  They were SO big and the ribbons were SO long that the girl's had to pick them up while they walked up the bleachers so they wouldn't trip.  True story!

We had a craft night and all worked on our mums for the evenings event.  MINE had rhinestones and a half dozen or so glow in the dark dinos in it.  Still you could really honestly tell the for reals Texan girls from us imposter's (ie....those of us who are Canadians, Californians, or Ilinosians no Illinosiers no oh I don't know!) that night.  The Texas girl's mums really did look so much more better-er then ours.  Still mine got points for it's shear size.  It truly was big enough to be the "Mum that ate Austin"!

P.S.  Corset tops are GREAT for boobage that won't fit it any o your party dresses...even if you have to get longer laces and put on a jacket to hide most o your exposed back.  Plus skirts that you took in when you found 'em can just as easily be let back out!  YAY for altering!!!!!

The peoples in the computer say.....

that our wee one is the size on an avocado (4.5 inches and 3.5 ounces) now!  It's heart pumps 25 quarts o blood through it's itty bitty heart each day.  Supposedly if I take a flashlight and shine it into my belly, the baby will move to the other side, which is a novel concept but I haven't tried it yet...maybe when I can actually feel the baby move it'd be more fun.  Oh and I'm suppose to have my pregnancy "glow" now.  Well I certainly don't feel very glowy.  Surly, check!  Glowy, yeah not so much!  I think they lie!

My waist is starting to go bye-bye.  I am just barely making it in my largest jeans and my tshirts are leaning on the obscene side o thangs.  I guess I have to break down and go to the mall and buy some clothes to be seen in public in.  Now to start cruising the maternity section.  Bustin asked me why I just couldn't find a lovely muumuu or dashiki.  REALLY Bustin???  A muumuu???

You know you're in TX when........

Yesterday my show started with a dentist appt at 8:45 am because I'm having issues with my gums due to being ME and the pregnancy.  After an "eggs for empty cartons" lunch with Teresa, a trip to the mall (Yes, I AM that nuts but I HAD to get some new bras.....DD folks, Double freakin D's), 2 different grocery stores to get all the stuff and plenty o junk, Costco to pick up folding chairs so folks have some place to sit their butts tomorrow, it was THEN that I went to Target.  The crib we picked out was on a screamin deal at the "pre-black blow out sale to beat all sales of DOOM" but you had to get it in-store and since it was a "till supplies last" & "no rainchecks" sort o deal, I ended up going to 3 count that THREE Target stores to find the stupid freakin crib!!!!  To say at this point I was DONE would be an understatement!

So I get to Bustin's car and the stupid freaking crib won't fit in the backseat.  I'm not sure what I was thinking or just how I thought it was going to fit??  It's HUGE!!!  Well I guess I simply wasn't thinking at all!  I called Bustin and begged for him to come rescue me in his big bad truck cause I was about to have a serious break down in the stupid Target parking lot!

While I was reclined in the front seat playing solitaire on my phone trying really hard not to start crying, this very large lady with a very thick Texas accent came over to me and said, "Da-harlin, I can't help but notice you're in a predicament.  I have a truck and I can take that crib wherever you need to take it. Is it for you?  Are you expectin? How excitin!"  I told her thank you that I'd already called my husband to come be my knight in dusty armor.  She then said, "You call him right back, I'm here already!"  I explained where we lived (NOT close to the Target I had to go to to find the crib) and I simply couldn't ask her to drive all that way in 5:30 traffic but thank you so much all the same.  She told me to have a safe night and congratulations again on our coming baby.

Sometimes it's really nice to live in a place where peoples offer up such kindness to strangers....even if the stranger is a deranged looking pregnant lady on the verge o a nervous breakdown!